Sunday, 13 April 2014

Nangkring di Pasar Malam Asia

Beberapa minggu ke belakang, saat saya melewati perpustakaan Leeuwarden, saya melihat sebuah papan iklan yang agak besar. Bukan ukurannya yang membuat saya tertarik namun apa yang menjadi isi iklan tersebut. 


Mungkin sekilas tidak ada yang salah dengan isi iklan tersebut. Tapi sekali melihat saya langsung melihat keanehan. Mengapa jika namanya PASAR MALAM ASIA, bahasa yang digunakan adalah bahasa Indonesia. Karena bahasa Indonesia bukanlah bahasa Asia, setidaknya menggunakan ASIAN NIGHT FAIR akan menjadi lebih dapat diterima. Entah bahasa Indonesia memang menjadi daya tarik sendiri bagi warga di Belanda (karena banyak warga Indonesia), entah memang hegemoni bahasa Indonesia di Asia sudah melekat kuat, atau yang mengatur acara ini adalah orang Indonesia.

Apapun di balik itu, saya sudah memutuskan untuk mengunjungi even ini. Jarang sekali ada pasar malam yang isinya tentang Asia di Belanda, apalagi yang mencapai Leeuwarden, kota paling Utara di Belanda. Pasar Malam Asia ini diadakan tiap tahun dari kota ke kota. Maka dari itu saya tidak ingin melewatkan kesempatan langka ini.

Monday, 7 April 2014

An Effortless Day

After attempting to write the sub-chapter part of thesis for a whole day (An hour felt like a whole day, right, Einstein?), my brain got heated up and surrendered. There were too many articles, books, and journals i read. Sometimes they contradicted each other so when i finished reading, it made me mumbling like, "Why did i read this article?". I remember a professor in campus saying that read more will confuse you more. So now i got it. And it also made me extremely hungry, Prof. 

Then i decided to stop my whole body system to do thesis-related activities. 

Free yourself, buddies!

I cooked tofu soup with coconut milk and chili. I cooked it because they were the only things left in the fridge. But it tasted not bad. After filling up my tummy, another obstacle came: my eyes suddenly felt heavy. To be fair, i let my eyes to rest a little bit. Two hours nap was much a bit. I had a guilty conscience and tried very hard to push my self out of the bed. I opened up my eyes and felt dizzy. So, my brain was acting up. To be fair again, i let my brain to relax. I took a shower to eradicate the dizziness. I also set up a playlist to boost my mood during showering.

Some songs are:

Payung Teduh - Berdua Saja

And this one:

Payung Teduh - Resah

I finished showering but got carried away by the songs i had been listening to. These songs are good and gentle I got no courage to touch the stop button. I was thinking, while listening to the songs, it would be great if i read some easy-going book, which i actually did. I comforted my mind and eyes by reading Albert Camus, the Plague while still listening. I felt like my room was transforming into a world that wasn't familiar with time and place. I felt subtle.

Until i got hungry again, i looked at the clock. 

Then i realized that I've just spent three hours reading and listening to the repeated playlist. 

Now it's almost midnight! When i took a look at Microsoft doc how far i was getting my work done, i was disappointed at myself. I only made progress two short paragraphs. I barely made a page alone for my thesis today. My soul cried, my heart broke. And i hope somewhere around the world, a mother wasn't screaming, sensing her son doing nothing. 

Now, i'm feeling terribly sorry for myself. Because a day before, I had consoled every single cell in my body to cooperate with my soul to get, at least two sub-chapters of, my thesis done. 

BUT. I only made two paragraphs. I felt inconsolably sad. Also guilty. 

I need somebody to know that i should have not surrendered [to being a laid-back and procrastinator]. Now i'm writing this crap and munching bars of chocolate, expecting the endorphin is released so i wouldn't feel terribly bad for myself. To be honest, i feel sleepy right now and my guilty conscience is getting bigger. I should [cry to] sleep.

Bonne nuit.

Btw, the music videos are solacing, aren't they?